TLDR; I got a new job, I got married, and we bought a house in a new city!
Life always happens how you least expect it to, both good and bad, and I'm so thankful for it all. Since my last post of 2014, my general health took a backseat to stressors and milestones. I fell into a depression I couldn't shake off, spending most days laying on the couch not having the motivation to care about anything. Peeling myself off the couch was considered a victory.
Slowly, I was able to confront my own issues. I found new hobbies, new ways to build intrinsic motivation. I finally asked my physician for help, and there was no shame in that. Sometimes depression is something that can't be conquered through smiles and exercise alone. Sometimes you need that daily Zoloft to give you the boost you need to get through the week...the day...the hour. And that's okay. There is far too much stigma surrounding mental health to be ashamed of taking care of yourself. I openly discussed my depression with my loved ones, it wasn't something to hide.
"I'm taking Zoloft, I'm dealing with depression."
"I don't care about anything. I'm not 'sad', just completely apathetic."
I won't lie, trying to conquer depression sucked. I distanced myself from people and some relationships haven't been the same. I even lost people in my life I still dearly care for. I became someone I didn't recognize. Cruel, judgmental, impatient. I hurt myself and I hurt others. That's the cold hard truth.
Over time, the clouds parted and let through a bit of blue sky. Relationships were rebuilt, though never the same as they once were. Planning the rest of our lives with my now-husband was the light at the end of my tunnel. It helped us build our relationship as partners, knowing that we had one another and we were a team. I'm finally in a place where I wake up each day grateful for the one before, be it good or bad.
Through those last few years of mental neglect, my physicality was neglected as well. I'm back where I started, but I'm not angry about it. I'm ready to take care of myself again.
My husband (Oh how I love saying that!) and I bought a house last fall. It's a beautiful century home built in 1837. It has been so much fun to make it ours, setting things up just the way we'd like them. I can't wait until it warms up and we can explore our back yard! For a home in downtown suburbia, we have some significant land. Since we moved in late-fall, we don't really know what's back there! Prior to our last snowfall, we did see bunches of daffodils and lily-of-the-valley.
We started an indoor seed garden yesterday, hoping to be more sustainable this summer with a few raised beds! Tomatoes, peppers, kale, lettuce, snow peas...oh my! Technically we can also have chickens, but I've yet to convince my husband...
With the new house came a new job! I'm once again working with the population that I love, in a building that we're giving some TLC, alongside people and a company I'm proud to represent!
Today, we put money down on a gym membership! This place is AMAZING! Right around the corner from our house, it's the largest gym in the county. Built in a warehouse, you walk through and it just keeps going...and going! Everyone was so incredibly friendly. Overall it has been fun to build a sense of community in our new town, participating in various activities/fundraisers and getting out there to become a part of it all! I'll be glad when the weather warms up and I can walk to the gym!
I'm ready to take care of myself again.
I'm ready to try one more time :)
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